Men

How can these creatures give me:
the pain that I never wanted
the love that I have always craved
the joy of being free
the loneliness of being without one

I grew up in a house where these creature's absence isn't amiss
Yet growing up, I've always prayed to God to make him come back home
Always. Everyday.
Until one day I stopped praying.

When I was in highschool, this boy asked me out
I didn't think I'd love it but I did
Turns out I needed the affection more than him
So he left me for some other girl

5 years after, I met this guy by chance
At first, my trust issues got in the way
He was kind and gentle, the type of man who you could get lost into
Unlike the other 2, this creature never promised anything
No security. No future. No control.
Just freedom.
At the end of the night, I said goodbye and I never saw him again

I sit here in my bed thinking of why I couldn't find the right one
Contemplating on whether I'm always at wrong or people are just always in the hurry to leave
Especially men. Especially the men in my life. Let me correct that: especially the men that was in life
When are they going to stay?


When are you going to stay?

Life is Difficult

I'm in this stage in life where everything I do feels wrong
Where no matter how optimistic I am, things seem to fall apart
Tell me. What do I do?
What can I do?
or...
What could I do?
Is it really the case of going with the flow
or going against it?
Should I go to an unknown path as I seek myself
or do I go with what is planned.


I didn't want to be a failure.
I still don't.
I just wish I can change it.
I just wish I could.